adelaidemedblog

It was a weird day today, very much like any other summer day where I sit at home and do nothing. To be honest it was exactly like any other day, exactly like yesterday, but why did it feel so different?

There was a strange feeling today and I couldn’t quite identify it, it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t particularly bad, I just couldn’t pin down what it was. But as the day has gone on it’s intensified and it’s kind of scary.

My chest feels like it’s sinking, like extreme sadness, but I have absolutely no reason to be sad, nothing bad has happened whatsoever. But nothing good has happened either. Maybe today my subconscious came to realise that I’m burning my youth away wastefully at an alarming rate. There’s not much productivity coming from my direction in any way, shape or form. But that can’t really be it could it?

Do you think maybe I’m just not happy with where I am in life? I have it better than a lot of people, great friends, fantastic family, and food on the table, but am I wanting more? Definitely. Does that make me selfish? Most likely.

Why is there something missing? I don’t quite get it. What am I missing is probably the more important question. I seem to fill my head up with goals that I must achieve, and achieve fast too. Because the faster I do the faster everything changes, and maybe that’ll make the feeling go away for longer. Maybe not.

I’d like to think that tomorrow will be different. I don’t think it will though, but you can always hope. Hope that by some unexplainable reason the feeling is gone, and normality returns. Normality.
Hmm.