adelaidemedblog

Apologies in advance for all the bad writing, I just started typing, then adding things in, and now I can’t be bothered going over it all. and for photos that should help set the scene, go to www.flickr.com/photos/djfiesta/

Like most of my other cynical and negative posts, here comes another instalment.

Firstly welcome to all the new people on MSO, and those who read the blogs, as well as the new Adelaide cohort, especially the MSO members. You’ve joined a good team. And don’t take everything I say in this post too seriously, I’m a bit of an exception in my thoughts.

So recently I arrived back home after spending 2.5 months abroad in China. I’m sure Birdman would agree that the experience is one that is better lived that described, but all in all I had a fantastic time over there. I had been planning and saving for this trip for some time as I hadn’t visited China in 12 years, and I have a lot of relatives still in Xinjiang so the timing was great. I also decided that this time I would explore Eastern China as I had never really done so, and I’d take a high school friend with me.
So after slogging out fourth year, which was an exhausting but not academically difficult, I decided that the holidays would be one of my last real chances to enjoy myself for the next few years.
First up I headed to Sydney on the 17th of November as the ticket was Sydney > Guangzhou > Urumqi return, so I had to go there for 1 night. The weather was nice and it gave me some chances to go out photograph, so I could get some practice before the real deal. The next morning we flew out to Guangzhou, a 9 hour flight with China Southern Airlines which felt really cramped, not sure if I’d grown since my last overseas flight two years ago, or China Southern just has a smaller seat pitch. I’m going to prudently assume the latter. We were put up in the China Southern Hotel overnight as our flight to Urumqi was the next morning again, and the hotel wasn’t too bad. We got vouchers for free breakfast too, which was great as having Yum Cha in Canton was something I’d always wanted to do.
That night me and my buddy max went outside to grab some dinner, and KFC was the closest place, and although I’d been listening to Mandarin MP3’s for a month or so I was not confident in my verbal skills at all. So we walked in and pointed things out in the menu, the staff knew enough English to get our order and it came to about 45RMB so we forked out a 100 only to be told it was ‘Ja’ or fake. I was amazed, it looked so real, and a family friend had given this money to me before I left in case I needed it. So i pulled out another 100 which was real and we were back on track. Embarrassing moment number one.

The next morning we went back to the airport and talked with some other people also transiting through Guangzhou, before we boarded for the home country. The plane was mighty old, a very old Boeing 757, with no audio or video, and it just felt rickety. But who cares the damn thing flies and lands and has been doing so for 20 years. Flying domestic in China is quite an experience, the staff don’t seem to care how much hand luggage people take on, as long as it’s in your hand, it’ll do. So we had to race to occupy cabin space.
Once in flight, people would walk all over the plane, talking to other people, cracking jokes, one guy was even performing magic tricks and had a crowd watching him. The Xinjiang basketball team was heading home as well after a game against Guangzhou, and man those guys are absolutely MASSIVE. Like abnormal giants. Acromegaly for real.
It’s about 6 hours from Guangzhou to Urumqi, so not a short flight, and there wasn’t much to do so we tried to catch some rest, and I was about to dose off when I smelt some smoke. Hrm, abnormal, then I see someone come out of the lavatory and as he walks past me he reeks of smoke. No one cares. Another fascinating thing.

So we land in Urumqi, the weather is 1-2 degrees out, foggy (or more accurately smoggy), and there’s a huge reception of girls with flowers and news crews hanging around. Must be for the basketball team I thought, but no, there’s some other sporting celebrity team on the plane. Wasn’t I lucky catching this flight.

So we get off, collect our luggage, and begin to head out, my mum runs out first to greet all my relatives who she hadn’t seen in 7 years, and me and max are with the bags when security stops us and asks us something in Chinese. Great, I’m sure this was not on the mp3’s. My mum is quite far away by now hugging everyone, and this security will not let us pass. I realise it’s because we didn’t have our boarding passes, and he wants to check that the luggage I’m holding belongs to me. Sorted out swiftly again.

I walk out, and Max is amazed at the number of people who have come out to greet us, would have been a minimum of 30, but probably more as there were about 8 cars, 2 of which were vans. I told him this is not even the beginning of all the rellies and family friends.
So finally after 55 hours of travelling we were at our final destination, and it felt good.

We were in Xinjiang for about 5 weeks, I can fill in all the mini stories into other posts as I feel like, but right now a general overview of the China trip is probably more important. So after Xinjiang we headed over to HK on the 29th of December, with a few days to spare before new years, and it was quite a change from the minus 25 degrees in Xinjiang to about 25 degree in HK. But great to wear a single layer of clothing again. 10 days in HK and we headed to Guangzhou, then straight back to Shenzhen (weird I know) but spent 1 night here, then back to Guangzhou for 2 nights, or 1 night I can’t remember. Then flew off to Hangzhou courtesy of Vincent’s dad who paid for our plane tickets (thanks a million). SO hangzhou I’d heard about a million times as the most beautiful city in China. Well the airport and the ride into town certain did not show off it’s highlights, and it was dark when we got into town, and had been raining non stop so I was not impressed at first I guess. To be honest it rained the whole time we were there, but the next day I could appreciate how it was a more beautiful city, especially the West Lake and all the pagoda’s, and the fact the city was abnormally clean for China. Two nights in Hangzhou and we headed for the real final destination, Shanghai.

I’d always wondered about Shanghai, why did people make such a big fuss about it? I know theres a lot of people, and a lot of business, but I had never read up on the town before. But I soon found out about it’s history, and realised why it’s called Paris of the East, well at least was called that in the 20’s. It still has that European heritage and architecture all over the place, which was weird, it felt like I was kind of in HK at times, sometimes in Melbourne, but then the people really make you realise it’s Shanghai. I loved shanghai, I wish I bought an I love shanghai tshirt.

Anyways, that sums up the China trip and lays the foundation for what I really wanted to talk about. Medicine.

I left the day after part 2 of my year 4 osce, and came back on the Friday before I started uni, and entered straight into ObGyn in 5th year. Lets just say that I was not mentally ready to start uni again as all I cared about was partying.

So day 1, I head over to the WCH for our introduction and orientation, and of course we hear from the heads of departments and heads of this and that telling us how wonderful and rewarding it is to be an ObGyn, and that everyone else sucks, the typical ‘my specialty is better than yours’ speech. Then I headed off with a bunch of other people to LMHS where I’m at for nine weeks. So dislike number one is that I’m at LMHS again, and I was planning on saving on petrol money this year.

So we get there, get orientated, no real need really because I’ve been here so many times, but you humour the staff and just listen. I read my timetable and what’s expected of us and it says that student 1 has a BAU shift.
What the hell does that mean? Looking at the code it says I am student 1, ok good, BAU means birthing assessment unit, and upon closer inspection it says I shall be there for 24 hours, and I’m expected to deliver a baby. What? That’s right. Me who has travelled from China and still not slept properly must spend 24 hours watching the ‘miracle’ of childbirth, and getting my hands dirty too. I wasn’t a happy camper, but at least I’m first so I can get away with not knowing everything.
Well I rocked up after the 8am morning meeting, which is useless for students to go to, because no one acknowledges you. I walk into the BAU and stand there a good 5 mins not knowing what to do, and as soon as I find someone I tell them I’m the student and I’m here for 24 hours. “Oh welcome!” says the midwife and introduces me to all the other midwives. Yay! some nice people! They introduce me to the Dr’s as ‘Daniel the 5th year’ and the Dr’s reply with a hi. Then they walk off. Again I’m left alone. So I sit down at the desk, told to move, new chair, told to move. FInally I go into the tea room and start reading womans day.

After a few hours I get called to see a childbirth, it’s disgusting, I’m disgusted and it’s disgusting. All the blood, amniotic fluid, poop, the smell, the sights, its all sickening. “Congratulations” I say and leave again. 1 birth down 4 to go. I thought, hey I might get to go home before anything else happens, but unlucky me someone else is delivering. So again I watch. Even more disgusting, more poop this time.
At about midnight I really did think I had a chance at being able to go home, when all of a sudden, a Dr I have never met before demands I scrub in to assist him in an emergency C-Section in a heroin addict. Great.

So i run upstairs, change into scrubs, get scrubbed in and start assisting. There is almost no communication between this unknown Dr and me, and I’m unknown to everyone in theatre. It felt really awkward. He hold out a retractor, so i hold it. He holds out the sutures so I hold it. He cuts, cuts again, and 1 more time, really quickly. What the hell is going on I think. The lady is still awake, she’s got an epidural but is sedated a little, later I learn it’s from heroin and not anything the anaesthetist gave her. She’s yelling and screaming about who the hell is behind that cloth and why are they touching me. Next thing I know, a bunch of fluid gushes out of her abdomen and onto my gown, it smells like tripe, then blood squirts all over me too. This is the first time any surgery i’ve been in resembles anything like ER. I don’t like it.

The baby comes out, crying and healthy thank god, then me and Dr no speak are stuck at it again sewing her up. After everything is done he speaks to me. I await some thanks and wise words of wisdom, but am presented with “you didn’t apply enough tension on the sutures and now I think they are loose. I can’t go back in to fix it, you should hold them tense next time”. Greaaattt… way to feel good on day 1.

So after that I get changed back, it’s like 1:30am, I’m meant to be back by 8am and it takes me a good 40-45 minutes to get home. So what the hell I’ll just sleep on the sofa sitting up in the tea room of the birthing and assessment unit in my hospital clothes.

I wake up at 7am by a midwife changeover, I get up wash my face, try fix my hair, and move my car. I go to the meeting and see Dr no talk. He presents what he did last night to the other staff, and makes no mention of my being there. Not that I deserve praise or thanks, but I just realised that no one really knew, or cared if I was at the BAU or not. I wasted 24 hours on nothing. But I learnt a valuable lesson, I don’t have to go to BAU again, and if I do, I leave early!

There’s some background now on my rotation thus far, however that was not the real reason for the blog either!

The real reason is, I have lost all interest in pursuing medicine as a career. There is not one cell in my body that would take joy in completing any form of postgraduate training, calling myself a specialist and working as a Dr forever. Something that was such a passionate dream of mine has died completely, and it’s for many reasons. This is where the above stories tie into it.
When I was in China and HK, I met a lot of my rellies who are now doing business there, run their own lives and timetables, are getting rich and are very happy. This seems to me, to be a good thing. I also met my cousin who is an orthopaedic surgeon, and he is miserable. When in HK and Shanghai, I saw the kind of lifestyle I want, the business life, living in the big city, doing deals and making money, partying etc. Then when back home I saw all these doctors, the ObGyn’s who tell me “its so rewarding and great, I love my work” but at the same time are so horribly mean and cruel to the students and other support staff, as well as the lack of true empathy for most of their patients, and you think.. would someone who really loves their work be like this? Is the blood sweat and tears, the gruelling hours, the years of being underpaid and overworked, kissing ass and being at the bottom worth it all? The answer to me, is no.

It’s not worth it. If I were to apply the same amount of hardwork into any business field as someone does into their postgraduate training, the rewards would be multiplied many times over. Not only monetarily, but also the fact you don’t have to work as many hours, and most likely will be appreciated more by your clients, versus the lack of thanks from patients.

So what do I plan to do? 5 years into it, bit late to pull out now hey? Well not really. I will definitely finish the course, and give it all I’ve got too, but at the end of it I think I’ll be pursuing a career in investment banking or management consulting. And to get onto that path I’ll be starting a Banking and Finance degree externally at the end of the year.

I hope people don’t too surprised by this post, if you’ve managed to follow my horrible English all the way through, but realise that a lot of different people have different aspirations and dreams, and such dreams can change along the way. The only piece of advice I can offer is keep your mind open to change, don’t think that it’s too late and you’ve committed too much already, 6 years is a relatively small part of your entire lives. And at the same time make sure you can be honest with yourselves. Many times i’ve just said “nah Daniel, it’s just a dream, just finish med you’ll be happy”. It’s taken me a long time to realise how unhappy I’d be if I do become part of the system. Again don’t get me wrong, I love medicine, I love knowing about the human body, interacting with people and having the privelege to make them better. But the whole system comes together to create this mean atmosphere, and it’s not for me.

Oh and the real reason I wrote this blog? I watch too much entourage and want to be like them.