adelaidemedblog

22 January 08

I’m quite bored on the plane. I’m still not sure this was a good idea, suddenly booking a plane flight to Malaysia a day after I got news that “Gonggong” is rather sick. In front of me is a piece of paper which I have to fill in before going through customs in Malaysia. I’ve read through the thing twice already - noting the bit saying “death for drug traffickers” - and come across a part of it saying “Address in Malaysia”. Realising that I’ve never filled this in before (since I don’t actually know the address of any of my grandparents) I’m wondering how I could possibly get through customs. No phone either and even if I did have a phone I don’t have anyone’s phone number to call anyway. So somehow I’ve got to figure out the address of my grandparents without having a clue. I guess that’s the least of my worries at the moment, “Gonggong” as he is affectionately known as (my grandfather, who doesn’t speak english) is in a critical condition. I’m not sure what happened and Mum’s description was all over the place, bad enough to fail PBL. Something about fluid accumulating in his abdominal cavity causing increased pressure causing compression of the thoracic cavity and a difficulty in contracting the diaphragm making it difficult to breathe, as well as a very low BP (<50mmHg according to my mum). Apparently something is leaking fluid into his abdominal cavity causing the low BP and the increased pressure. It does remind me of a visit I paid to the hospital one day with Birdman where we spoke to an elderly couple who had suddenly gone through a whole lot of things, an abdominal aortic aneurysm, a leg amputation, renal failure and the rest of the cocktail that comes with that. Which is kind of similar to what my grandfather has now… renal failure, a couple of strokes, diabetes, hypertension and other things I have no idea about because my mum wasn’t told. It also means I don’t get to meet up with the sydney crew (who have on facebook dubbed themselves ‘Cestuous Sydney for whatever reason) though I’m sure I’ll hear stuff about that eventually. I realise also that I don’t yet feel that much of a connection with my grandfather and if I want to I’d better make one pretty soon or else. Mum appears to be resigned to the fact that he is going soon; she said I should come and see him one last time. Though when she asked me how long he was going to be on dialysis for I told her rather emotionlessly (due to the fact that I don’t have that connection with my grandfather) that it was either until he got a kidney transplant or for the rest of his life. And then I went so far as to say that I didn’t think he would get a kidney transplant because of his age and underlying conditions. It’s strange that when faced with this kind of situation - impending death of someone - who is a relative (with little communication) I’m not really so moved while I was really quite moved by that couple (complete strangers) in the hospital who I only talked to for one hour. Amazing how much difference one hour of communication can make. Or at least the ability to speak with someone in their language. I am reminded of the biblical story of the Tower of Babel (and as a result, the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide) and realise that not being able to communicate sucks. It also made me think of the reason why God would do such a thing - so that they wouldn’t put themselves in His place because of what they could possibly achieve. Which made me think much about what you could possibly achieve.
In other news, my best friend is gonna be in uni soon too. I guess I’m excited for him as I was for me but unlike how I envisioned it way back when I moved away from Sydney we aren’t going to be in the same university (and it’s completely my fault for going to Adelaide.) I’m happy for a few other people too, one who is starting her third first year especially and one who managed to scrape a pass in his second year (if he had failed, he would have been asked to leave the medicine course I believe). And the friends I made in primary school have graduated too and I haven’t spoken to a single one since though I’m interested to see where they went for curiosity’s sake.
I was reading a book the other day which I am sure many people have read. It’s the famous (or infamous, I don’t know) The Secret which revolves around one concept, the power of positive thinking and what you could realise as a result. Though I believe The Power of Positive Thinking in itself was a bestseller in it’s time, I’m not sure it said that things will magically happen if you constantly think about it and will it to happen and act like it is definitely going to happen without actually putting something in to make it happen. It also goes so far as to say that if you think about something that you don’t want to happen, it’s still going to happen because you’re thinking of it, magically.

And between this sentence and the last I watched Stardust. Haven’t seen one of those movies in ages. To be honest I quite enjoy that kind of movie but rarely go and see them because I always tag along with friends whenever I go to see a movie (what use is going out to see a movie if you don’t enjoy it with friends?) and we always watch something… less… magical. Thoroughly recommend this movie for a first date with someone. Then again, who am I to be recommending stuff for dates? I’ve seriously considered asking someone out last year but wanted to give it more time. Time does change things, but I think it’s what happens in between that changes things more than not doing anything. I seem to do that a lot, not do anything when I think I should do something and had recommendations against it. Someone said late last year (I’m sure you know who you are) it’s better to ask and get it over with and be rejected than to wait, let your emotions burn and then be rejected for a bigger fall. Clearly I haven’t taken this advice, though I highly respect the person who told me. Anyhow, I’ve got bigger issues at the moment, namely my mum. And perhaps, if I respond by reacting by feeling how I think my mum should feel, then I think I’m pretty doomed.

I think I made the mistake last night of not sleeping. Well, I definitely did that, I’m just reconsidering whether it was a mistake or not. I was intending to sleep during this eight hour flight but it looks like instead I’ll be sleeping as soon as I get back. If I don’t get any sleep in the next hour or so, it was a mistake. I also made the mistake (as always) of wearing shorts and a t-shirt onto a plane, which, like every single other plane I have ever travelled on, is cold, and like every other plane I have travelled on in the last five years, charges for blankets.

I still haven’t started on that form.

January 23rd 2008

Apparently today is a public holiday in Malaysia, and apparently, they called that last Monday. I realised a few things since that form. Firstly, that can put “unknown” in the address section of that form. Secondly, that my grandmother has moved to a different house, and thirdly, that I had forgotten about the hygiene standards of Malaysia. Oh well. I did have a very nice lunch at a massive shopping centre - and I mean massive in terms of I walked in there following my father and walked quite a long while to get to a bus station which we realised did not have tickets to Penang today where I am now headed on this bus - by getting to some massive station where all these buses go, a little closer to the city centre and waiting. Apparently buses rarely ever run on time here, none of them have toilets that work, and some even check into the wrong platform. I was given a ticket with the wrong platform number on it (6, instead of 7 where it was supposed to arrive) and it arrived on platform 4. After asking around a bit my father and aunt nd grandmother found the right one. Some thanks are due my friends who dyed my hair for me; apparently my grandmother likes it.

While eating lunch (Curry Laksa, at a restaurant with a sign - Laksa Shack: the Laksa specialists) my aunt asked “So, do you have a girlfriend yet?” I declined to answer the question with the excuse that my dad was there - just to see what reaction that might provoke. No reaction apparently.

I very much realise why my mother likes to visit Malaysia. Food is really cheap, tasty, and usually very small and dainty compared to food in ‘Straya. And shopping at one shopping centre could take months to visit every shop that you wanted to go to. Well, not months, but definitely not a day trip. I’m wondering if I can get myself an electric guitar here. Recently I been spending much time learning guitar (thereby convincing myself that what I am doing is indeed worthwhile and I can feel good for doing it instead of study, which is probably more worthwhile) and realising it’s quite a bit more fun to be able to play and sing - and yes I can play while singing, however horrible I sound. I still haven’t got what is happening to Gonggong at the moment because apparently Az gave me a different story - which was similar but different. I guess I’ll find out when and if I talk to the doctor. So far, I can confirm one detail - Gonggong cannot speak due to another stroke he had a while ago, and that he is in a stable but critical condition. Aunty B and Uncle R - Mum’s friends - will be picking me up in Penang because, I assume, Mum is at the hospital. And Az has his R4 (whatever that is).