Selfish
• Posted by Rei on December 4th, 2007
Decisions.
Yes, they are hard to make and much easier to avoid. But somehow I think that the more you avoid them, the harder they get to make. I think that makes sense. But then again if decisions are made too quickly then they might not necessarily be the right decision or rather the decision that you want.
My first post. My first post on this blog is made not on my birthday. It does not include gay pictures of birdman. In fact, it isn’t even on the requirements of being a first year med student: Gayness and Alcoholism. Though they will come later I’m sure. This is rather a response to long time no bitch. Or perhaps my version of long verses short term and what drives us to help people.
I’ve had my fair share of helping people. Of listening to troubles, giving advice, prompting decisions, actions. I’ve been there for tears, heartbreaks, indecisions, or just pure brainlog. Always. I’m the girl that people go to to vent. I’m the girl that people go to to ask advice. I’m the girl people go to when they need someone to talk to. My time, my effort, my emotions, my mentality is spent on helping these people. Always. Why? Its not like I’m getting anything in return am I? What does this do for me? Nothing? Bullshit. Some people say it’s a matter of trust, that people trust me (supposedly a good thing). Some say it’s a show of friendship. I don’t know if its any of these things but I do know that I’m selfish. I don’t help people for other people. I help people for me. Because I know that if I ever found out that someone I know needed a friend and I wasn’t there for them it would kill me. If I could’ve done something for another person and I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to forget that. If my friends were hurt and I couldn’t do anything, really it would hurt me. So really, I’m selfish, I don’t want to regret not being there, I don’t want to forever know that I didn’t do something. I don’t want to be the person that stands there and watches stuff go by. So I’ve made that decision. I’m selfish. I’m the girl people go to to talk, I’m the girl people go to for help. I’m selfish.
To you Ego, I ask this question. Are you sure being the guy that protects the girls and never gets anything in return is a bad thing? Are you really sure you don’t get anything in return? Because surely not. Well at least I hope not. Because then I ask you this question then. Would you be able to stand being the guy that doesn’t protect those who need it?
As for long term and short term. Personally I think this is different for different people. Some say waiting for the best person for a long time for long term is best. Others say the opposite, to go live life to the fullest. I really don’t know. I say think for now. What do you want to do now. What do you want now. Our opinions of things change as time goes by. Maybe long term matters to you. Maybe it doesn’t. Whether it does or not is up to you and only you will be able to make that decision for yourself. Think for now. Think for yourself now. Be ready for now. Do something now. Do not live to regret that you did not do something then but rather live and say I did it, I may not be happy with what I did but I did and maybe I will or won’t do it again.
I think you’ve just completely broken the definition of selfish. By helping other people you are being selfish… right so who exactly isn’t??? Those that withhold help?
You are a very selfless person methinks, as is Ego, just you derive pleasure from it, which doesn’t mean you are selfish at all… I think it means you have a good heart 
Just one question to back it up:
Why would it kill you if you found out that someone you know needed a friend and you weren’t there for them? Because… you care for them… because… you’re not selfish?
I think long term is best, and short term thinking leads to things like one-night stands and other bad things. Living life to the fullest doesn’t mean you have to make NOW the best time of your life - it means that you get the most out of it overall, which is definitely long term thinking. After all, if we were all to go and have one-night stands with people I’m sure we’d regret it later on. Or at least, I would. Or at least, I would regret it after the first time and not do it again.
Anyway, who is to say which is better? I might even live my entire life waiting for the one special person only to realise that there isn’t one and that I have done many things that other people could not have done because they were married. So what? It doesn’t mean I’ve failed at life, though Darwin might think otherwise; it just means my life has had a different purpose. Though it is true that if I don’t start looking for this one special person I probably am not going to find them (though it happens sometime) so at least do something I guess.
Rei you clearly are not a selfish person. Actually very few people I know that are in med school can really be defined as selfish, though the application process says otherwise. I’m very happy I met you.
o_0 you swore!!!!! Uye- i mean, Rei, SWORE! oh. my. gosh. my rei, you may say you are selfish but you have oh so obviously proven you are not. ^_^ but hey, if you want to say you are selfish, go ahead….who knows what selfish means these days anyway.
Btw….when i come back…we are so playing chopsticks with lisa again ^_^
Lira. said this on January 24th, 2008 at 12:27 am