adelaidemedblog

An experience so hard to convey in words.

Thoughts and feelings ebb and flow away with my waking moments. I find there are times when I can write a lot in one go, and then times when I am practically voiceless. I really don’t understand it… it’s so confusing. I have so much I would love to say, just to get it out on somewhere “permanent”. Actually, this place is no more permanent than the neuron pathways inside my brain. But it still makes me feel good to put it in here. It’s such a mystery… I suppose the human brain is, after all, just that.

Ridiculous, Absurd, Unbelievable. And yet, so damn meaningful.

He steps up, one foot on a chair, which Class 14 representative has taken for him. One foot on the teacher’s table. Guitar in hand, resting on one knee, waiting to play. The children stare expectantly at the foreigner - what’s he going to do today? He is a main attraction, he is a star. Coldplay - The Scientist. Come Up to Meet You. What does it mean? What kind of song do you think this is? Come up? You over there, give me an answer. Shang lai. Meet you? Jie ni. Well done, sit down. Repeat after me, Come Up To Meet You. Come Up To Met You. No, I said, Come Up To MEEET You. Come Up To Meet You. Good, that’s good! I want you to use your best smiles, ok? Meet! Meet! Meet! Meet! That’s great. Ok. Tell you I’m sorry. How about you, you in the corner, yes you. Gao su ni, wo hen bao qian. Good, and You don’t know how lovely you are. Girl at the front? Ni bu zhi dao ni shi zen me ke ai (she blushes). Haha, that’s very good (the class laughs). What kind of song is this? It’s a… qing ge! Hey, English now. This is an English class. Qing ge shi shen me yi si? Love song! That’s right! A love song! Love! Romance! Sweet! Let’s try…

…Come up to meet you. I want you to put your hands up in the air. Like this! Like this! Come on, just imagine, the person you love the most is up there. You want them! You want them so badly, like this! Come up to MEET you! That’s right, that’s the spirit, you’re all getting into it now. And stand up while you’re doing it! Don’t make too much noise though. Ok, that’s great. Next: Tell you I’m sorry. Ok, hands like this. Like this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Don’t laugh, you’re sorry, ok? Bow your head, like this. That’s right. Ok, good. Ok, now. You don’t know how lovely you are. Hands on your shoulders, crossed over your chest, this is it. This is it, you’re making your big confession. It’s the big reveal. You love her, or him, and they’re right in front of you. That’s it, you’re in love. All dreamy eyed. Like this. Like this… (laughs)….

“…Let’s try it, from the beginning.”
Please get into it, you’ve been great until now. (The first time you try it always sucks, it always needs a failure to get a success).
“4 Bars! 1, 2, 3, -” (strumming starts)
They’re nodding their heads in anticipation. The more timid ones, even they were trying hard. But maybe it’s too cliche. Maybe it’s too good to be true - surely, someone will point me out as a fake. He’s not really Australian. He’s just Chinese, like the rest of us. They might say. It will be terrible, all out of tune. I will be sorry to teach them both English and music at the same time. Or maybe, we, as kids together, we’ll all sing loud, at the tops of our voices, together, and it will make a grand sound that enriches the eardrums and teaches the mind to appreciate what is truly important in existence. A truly grand noise.

(The song starts, a noise to lift the roof off) “COME UP TO MEET YOU! TELL YOU I’M SORRY”
I’m laughing, the noise has a semblance of music, the tune is vague but identifiable.
“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LOVELY YOU A-ARE”
My strumming is becoming more brusque and violent, as my forearm jerks downward in a fashion government by the laughter in my heart, rather than the rhythm in my brain.
“I HAD TO FIND YOU (desperate searching to the left, and to the right amidst laughter), TELL YOU I NEED YOU (several rowdy boys at the front shouting at the tops of their voices, hands outstretched), TELL YOU I SET YOU APA-ART”

Teacher says, “What does this mean? Tell you I set you apart? A sea of worried faces. They haven’t encountered this phrase, set you apart, before. Ok, let me give you an example. I take these three boys in the front row (it doesn’t matter which three, as long as they are three boys, preferably the more popular ones). Wo men dou shi hao de peng you. Dan shi, (I point at one) wo, he ta, wo men shi hen, hen hao de peng you. Ta she te bie de. Suo yi, wo Set him apart. Laughter ensues, a riotous racket, the class nearly explodes. (It works everytime) We are all good friends. But me and him, we are specially good friends (wink), special friends. So…

…”NOBODY SAID IT WAS E-ASY-Y, IT’S SUCH A SHAME, FOR US TO PA-ART”
I’m shouting it now, with the rest of them. We’re shouting it together.
The second verse starts now, they quieten down. We’ve only spent 40 minutes on it, max. We’re all beginners after all. They need encouragement. My nerves harden, my forearm stiffens, the sound carries over the unmoving mouths, and my voice belches out the tune. It isn’t pretty. But it rouses, after two words, the sound of the crowd, the sound of unity. We continue,
“I was just guessing, at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart.”

When it came to Nobody, my voice hits the high note. When I do this in the morning, it always breaks, and I have to grin and bear it. The class usually laughs with me. I had a good relationship with almost all of the classes. Junior 1, and 2, 12-15 year olds, co-ed, each with one class representative who was only too keen to shut up the other students if their behavior disrupted the class. Obviously, some classes were better than others. And some teachers were better than others. Again, that’s a rant for another day. Only one class hated me. Class 2. I had no allies in that class, and when I unleashed The Scientist on that class, about six weeks after I’d finished with every other class (about 16 other classes of 60 kids each) - my voice broke, because it was a morning class, at 8am. I’d even done morning vocal exercises, because I knew it would happen. Damn.

Then there’s the atmosphere. It’s the celebrity of it all. There’s no denying that the feeling you get when you know everybody’s watching you is such a rush, it’s pure adrenaline. It’s like nothing else. It’s all about you. “Wo men ting dao le ni, nei ge… chang de ge… Yellow Submarine.” Haha, hao ting ma? “Man hao ting de… haha… bu cuo… wo men dou hui ting dao, hen chao… hao xiao.” We heard the song from across the other side of the school building (it’s only 20 meters). It was really funny, we were all laughing. It was so loud. It’s all about you. “You yi xie ren, nan de, yong ni de ge zi, nei ge “The Scientist” xie ge love letter gei nu de.” There are some guys using your song lyrics from that song The Scientist to write love letters to girls.

I laugh, secretly pleased.